Smooth Yeti

Dear Yeti,

How come I can't get a date in this town?

Well, I'm not a matchmaker or anything, so it's hard for me to say. What I can do is tell you what I did to get a date, which might help you out. Here goes:

1. Dress cool --> I tend to stick with a limited rotation of t-shirts and jeans, along with sandals and a hoodie. It makes people think you don't really care about your appearance or sense of style, and you don't have time to worry about that stuff because you're too busy with cooler things.

2. Talk cool --> My typical response to almost anything people say to me is . . . "Really? That's cool." I think this is self explanatory.

3. Drive a crappy car --> I drive a beat up truck. It makes people think you have saved lots of money because you don't have a nice car.

4. Be nice --> Open doors, say thank you, don't say dick jokes...you know, the basic stuff

And the most important thing...

5. Be yourself --> I'm a hairy ass Yeti...if you don't like that, oh well.

Until next time,

The Yeti